Starting over. Again. Whats the worst that could happen?

In the beginning, there was… COFFEE. After there was coffee, Chrys came along. That is where the story begins. Every single morning.

I really really don’t give EEFFOC.
(This image is not mine.)

:::: DEEP BREATH ::::

– she begins to type –

HELLO WORLD!!

::snickers:: I wonder how many times I have started a post or new blog or such with that. :: shakes head :: Apologies. My geek is showing.

If you know me, Hello again!!!

If not, Hello for the first time.

🩷 ❤️ 🧡 Welcome 💚 💙 💜

I have spent more than a year almost completely away from social media. All platforms, really. I needed a break. Between needing to really focus on other things, spending time in therapy and doing the work for that, and handling the many levels of chaos that I have finally cleared out of my life…. And as always, trying to be a good mom, and wife, and partner and friend…. It’s been a lot.

I didn’t have the energy to devote to even checking my notifications.

Additionally, I’ve spent the last couple/few years, in which I went through a very painful set of interactions with people that I honestly didn’t know how to deal with in a healthy manner. Thus, the therapy. Well, not ONLY that. I do therapy for a myriad of reasons, though I am in a current therapy break.

I will also say that Social media has made it very difficult in today’s connected world, to have a clean break with people. It’s a whole “THING” and it gave me a lot of insight into what our children go through …. So many accounts, so many profiles, so many people who connect you to the other person, so many different methods and types of privacy restrictions, so many noses where they don’t actually belong. I’m not kidding. It’s quite BRUTAL. I was absolutely over it for a while. …. :: ahem :: Enough of that for now.

I found myself in a place where for whatever reasons, the internet became …. Frankly… toxic, for me. Which is the complete opposite of how it used to be. Some of the people there, became toxic too, hurting me simply because they could. I … simply needed to keep to myself. I needed to learn skills and discover truths, to become discerning both internally and externally. If that has upset anyone, know that I understand. I’m not really thinking I should apologize. I promise you that my absence has been necessary. I also know that I did not waste the time. I am stronger today from giving myself time and space.

In the quiet, (of life sans social media, because believe me, quiet is not something I experience often. Even my own mind is loud enough to drive a sane person crazy and I’m not claiming to be sane. Not one bit.) I have made many discoveries about myself and the world around me.

Sometimes, a person needs to and has the right to, shut out the noise and distractions in order to get peace and find clarity.

I’m not there yet, but I am well on my way.

I adore technology and I indulge with the best. My devices are some of my favorite “toys” as well as downright necessary for my quality of life. In a previous decade, I was a specialist in Education and Educational Technology. It’s a passion of mine and became my career.

However, as amazing as technology is, like all things, it has its downsides. I’ll never swear it off. But, overall, I find the landscape of today’s internet to be extremely overwhelming. Yes, there have been instances in the recent past, when I have popped onto a social network app and started clicking for a bit before jumping back off it as soon as I realize I’ve been sucked into doomscrolling. It’s not even just the personal connections that make it noisy. There’s just SOOOO MUCH other stuff, ads, fake news, things to do, funny stuff, to like and heart and pin and reply reply reply and it often feels like I’m chasing my tail because that cycle never ends and it’s FULL of things that distract my squirrel like brain or cause me to behave like a cat chasing a laser light. My ADHD just can’t tolerate that sometimes. Lol. I’ve begun to live a life that almost requires that I disconnect more digitally and fully engage with the physicality of the moment.

Aside from what I’ve mentioned so far, there are many changes “around here”. (….meaning this blog, house, heart, mind, art and family, all of it. Is “here”, yeah?) There are to be many changes to come. I usually start slow and become a snow ball plowing UP hill. But, I’ve come to accept that I won’t always keep rolling at the same pace. Sometimes, I hit a tree. :: giggle :: I think right now, the progress I make is about “automating processes” to create a more functional system of existence, for myself. That is something I’ve been struggling with since spring of 2021. Things occurred. Things broke. Things imploded. Most of it, on a mental and emotional level. But, some of it …… sigh. I feel like I’m starting over. I hate starting over. The STRUGGLE IS real, y’all. I hate it, but I’m doing it anyway.

So, yeah, I haven’t done much writing this year. Creative or otherwise. I’ve done more talking (verbally, which I struggle with.), much more listening, much more learning and experiencing and connecting to that experience. Writing is my first and preferred means of communication. As a person who grew up with a “STFU” style parent, writing gave me a place to put what I was never allowed to say out loud. Some of my verbal struggles are a result of that.

As a creative person, the art of words will ALWAYS be my first love. I can get lost in the realms of magic that can be created with words. I also read every single day. Books. Fiction and Non-Fiction. I wake up to and fall asleep to my Dear Captain’s …breathing and my kindle daily. I read throughout the day. At this point in my life, I am in a learning mindset and I am searching for truths on many levels. I’m not really interested in what the algorithms want me to consume. When it becomes so complicated to use a service, that I have to climb through pages of settings to try and see only what I care about…. It’s already wasting too much of my time. I am searching for knowledge that is not the same thing that everyone else is consuming. I don’t care much if I don’t know who just got cancelled, or how the reality tv crap even works. I don’t care. I’m looking for things that will help me.

I simply haven’t written much, not even in my private journal. I guess I needed more writing input than I was able to give output. ::: shakes head ::: The way this word count is racking up, that may not last much longer. :: chuckle ::

That does not mean that I haven’t been creative. Oh no. Writing is my first craft, however, I have a seemingly unending variety of art and related pursuits. It’s absolutely ridiculous. But, when the circumstances leading me here become clearer, it will be much easier to understand how I got here and why and why it sorta works.

You could say, I have been obsessively creative.

You could say I have been consistently creative.

You choose.

I have made a full on dive into my art in the past 3 years. I haven’t had the energy to share everything. But, my art IS daily and SOME things have become automated, so I feel ready to show some things again.

I am not a professional. ANYTHING. I don’t claim to be. However, it’s worth asking, does an artist ever truly reach mastery while they still breathe? I am a work in progress, in ways that I cannot even process yet, and my art is a reflection of that. I don’t always do the same type of creative work everyday. But, I do create something DAILY. Or make progress on something creative. It just depends on what I hone in on, or what my body will allow me to do, or perhaps I can’t focus and do 20 small random things that day, instead of working on one thing.

Whatever, I do, I always take photos, of it. Every day. Not just when the art is finished. I take photos of Work In Progress. I also take photos of almost every “oops!” And “that didn’t work” along with how I fixed it. I record a lot of videos, as well. I suppose I simply don’t have the confidence to post videos, yet. Because of this, I have almost 2 year’s worth of art, from start to finish, that I have not yet shared. I feel some of it is absolutely worth sharing.

To that end, I think I’d like to weekly or (or daily?) post my current art, finished and unfinished/WIPs, along with photos of my art on that day, LAST YEAR.

I’ve been liking this idea more the longer I think on it. I don’t know how much detail I’d be writing about my art to start with. Right now, I feel it might continue to be more helpful to me that I spend more time actually creating and living my life IRL, than giving all the details of each piece, or what I was working on, the challenges I set for myself, the techniques I played with, the medium used, etc. I do love to document and write about these things.

But, I have a lot of work to do before getting to a point where I will HAVE the time to devote to those details.

I’m spending this month, January 2024, dedicating a portion of every single day, working this system out.

I may post art without much text at this stage.

::: rolls eyes at self ::: I may also retract that pretty quickly. If you know me, you know that I am a writer. Just in general. If you don’t know me, hang out a bit, you will learn far more about me than you ever wanted to know. I write far more words than ANYONE really wants to read these days. I am not a “character limited friendly” communicator. That’s part of the reason I have chosen to begin my social reboot on WORDPRESS and not on any other platform.

Let me say this loudly : I AM A LONG FORM, FLOW OF CONSCIOUSNESS, TYPE OF WRITER.

What does that mean? For those who are already done with this and have clicked away, it means this blog it not for them. For those of you who are still reading. To make it easy, I write in a manner that most refer to as “TL:DR”. That’s okay. There is plenty for you all to consume media wise. No one made you be here today. Or tomorrow. So, if you aren’t a person who enjoys long rambles, excited utterances, dramatic stories that go around your butthole to get to your nose, unbelievably adorable explanations of the cuteness in my life, lists of things, lists of my lists, updates on my home remodel and Studio Building projects, to just name a few things….now is probably your cue and it’s okay. No harm. No foul. Did I mention I limit my own social media INTAKE?!

Right. So, moving on. This is MY space. I will say what I want. In the very beginning, before “blogging” was even a word, I started out with a livejournal. I spoke on that platform daily. I wasn’t afraid to speak my truth. Over the years, as the internet has expanded, I began to be more private. I also have encountered people in my life who wanted me to NOT talk about my life online and I tried to please them. Slowly, I got to a point where I didn’t even bother to post anything, because EVERY thing caused a fight. I’m done with all of that. I intend to return to speaking my truth. If you have an issue, we can discuss it. But, it’s a DISCUSSION. Not an argument or an agreement. Again. I’m not sponsored and this is all just ME.

My words, my place, my art, my thoughts. You are welcome to be here, interact, and share, so long as you show respect. Because this is mine, not yours.

I have many goals to accomplish this year. All towards a pretty specific, and yet all over the place, set of goals. There are reasons for that. I’m sure it will become more clear over time. There are reasons for all of my ridiculousness… and quirks…? Yeah, we’ll call it that for today …. 😏

I am going to do my best to post at least once a week here. I will always include art photos in my posts.

If you want to know more about anything related to my art or any other topic, than I included, please just ask. I will always try to give proper credit to all creators, and resources, and even products that I use. I am not and likely never will be, sponsored. I simply give proper credit as I would wish others to do for my work.

There. I maded some goals, too!!! Not resolutions. I do one word resolutions. These are just some basic goals. I need to write them down in my notebook. And …. We are off.

Next up: My First Art Post of the Year.

Ready to see how this works out, myself. You?

To All of You, From All of Us, here at:

~ Chrys’ NeighborHead ~

Have the day that you have today. Now, go to a mirror, and give yourself a high five. That was a long read.